Inside the museums, infinity goes up on trial – Bob Dylan — The ancient Mayans and Nostradamus are Cleveland Browns fans who met on Facebook. They went to Applebee’s to predict Super Bowl XLV. They were tied in their fantasy league. The ancient Mayans used an iPhone prophecy app , common in their time, to…
2010 Season
Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There’s a land that I’ve heard of Once in a lullaby – Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harburg — The obvious solution to America’s problems is to repeal the 2010 NFL season, and start the race to the 2011 NFL Conference Championship games over again. Favorable ratings for this…
There’s something happenin’ here What it is ain’t exactly clear – Buffalo Springfield — I did not just ride in here on a snowflake. I am a snowflake. I am a flake with the best NFL Divisional picks in America. I am a flake leading the snowflake movement. We have NFL Divisional pick rallies featuring…
I’ll tell you no and you’re gonna ask me why, why why When I remind you of all this and you’ll cry, cry, cry – Johnny Cash — I got a big gavel just in time to make Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks. Thanks Nancy. Now scram. I am crying because I am the new speaker…
As heads is tails Just call me Lucifer ‘Cause I’m in need of some restraint – The Rolling Stones — These week 17 NFL picks resolve to call for the voluntary execution of Tucker Carlson. Since the bow-tied alleged nimrod Tucker Carlson made clear that he thinks Michael Vick should have been executed, these week…
You call me a fool You say it’s a crazy scheme This one’s for real I already bought the dream – Steely Dan — These holiday week 16 NFL picks are 50 percent off. But wait, there’s more – you get an organic free-range concussion, and a life-size poster of Mitch McConnell if you order…
You better watch out You better not cry You better not pout I’m telling you why – J. Fred Coots & Haven Gillespie — Dear Santa, I believe in you. That’s why I tripped the opposing prognosticator as he was running to the liquor store. But I don’t think I’ve been naughty. I adapted to…
These week 14 NFL Picks are a cowardly compromise. Everyone knows that compromise is for wussies.
The President wanted only those gambling less than $250,000 on the New England Patriots to have access
It’s no secret is that a friend is someone who lets you help It’s no secret that a liar won’t believe anyone else – U2 — Julian Assange has leaked my week 13 NFL picks to the media. He stole them from my brain. All that I can do now is deny that I know…
Come together right now over me – The Beatles — These week 12 NFL Picks can’t dance, but they are related to a turkey. For those of you hating on these week 12 NFL picks and the turkey, now is your last chance to shoot your television before these NFL picks flip you the middle…