Hands, touching hands, reaching out Touching me, touching you – Neil Diamond — To ensure that these week 11 NFL picks are safe, you are going to have to let me touch your junk. Hey, don’t blame the junk toucher. I was hired by the government. This was the only job I could find. On…
2010 Season
A moment of steel A dry-eyed house Did he say goodbye to you Or did you kick him out? – John Hiatt — These Week 10 NFL Picks thought the world liked us, but the Picks just made a mental note of everything the world has said. China just laughed at us, and South Korea…
I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me – Cheap Trick — These week 9 NFL picks want to thank you for your vote, and remind you that we are going to fix everything just like we did the last time we ran things. We…
I’d rather laugh with the sinners Than cry with the saints The sinners are much more fun – Billy Joel — When James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather suggested that I not make these Week 7 NFL picks because I have the mental capacity of a green pepper, I scoffed. Sure my head hurts from the…
You stumble out of a hole in the ground A vampire or a victim It depends on who’s around – U2 — I told them to get me out of the mine in time to predict week 6 in the NFL. I really meant that I wanted to be able to watch the Browns/Steelers game…
And lightening strikes, maybe once, maybe twice Oh, and it lights up your night And you see your gypsy – Fleetwood Mac — Hi, my name is Randy and I am the new temp here doing Week 5 NFL Picks. I used to work in New England but that job, like your job, was eliminated….
I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more – Bob Dylan — The last job left in America is on a migrant farm, picking games for Week 4 in the NFL. Picking games is like picking beans. The job was occupied by an illegal alien but she was deported, with the others, back to…
Crazy laughter in another room And she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon – The Eagles — My date told me she found me to be of questionable character because of my Week 3 NFL picks. We had just shared a romantic midnight picnic on the neighborhood satanic altar when I passed her…
I want your love I want your revenge You and me could write a bad romance – Lady Gaga — These week 2 NFL picks were supposed to occur on International Burn The NFL Rulebook Day. I told my my congregation of 50 about it, but then the most eminent citizens of the world begged…
Here I go, Playin’ star again There I go Turn the page – Bob Seger — Barack Obama: These Week 1 NFL Picks have fulfilled their mission. It’s time to turn the page. Now watch as I pull a rabbit out of my hat. My interpretation of the games that have not yet been played…