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What's Gonna Happen – Page 18 – A political humor column masquerading as NFL Picks

Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not “Mr. Lebowski”. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing. – Joel Coen and Ethan Coen — I am currently…

Regrets, I’ve had a few But then again, too few to mention – Paul Anka — These 2009 Week 17 NFL picks have been planned for an entire decade. And what a decade it’s been. I feel like I’ve aged 10 years. If you’ve been betting these picks for the past 10 years, I’d like…

You better watch out, you better not cry Better not pout, I’m telling you why – J. Fred Coots and Haven Gillespie — I’m Wolf Blitzen, news reindeer, reporting that these Week 16 NFL picks were voted on by the Senate on the morning of Christmas Eve. The key point in the legislation was if…

Lonely days are gone, I’m a goin’ home ‘Cause my baby just a-wrote me a letter – The Boxtops — These Week 15 NFL picks are hot! Stolen emails reveal that three rainforests were chopped down to produce these week 15 NFL picks and our SUV-driving employees are required to hold the buttons of two…

There are those who look at things the they way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not? – Robert F. Kennedy — These week 14 NFL predictions are late because I knew I’d be correct about the Browns game, so I started celebrating Thursday’s victory on…

There’s battle lines being drawn Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong – Buffalo Springfield — President Obama: These Week 13 NFL picks are a time of great trial. My fellow Americans, even though no one has ever won in the wasteland known as Week 13 NFL picks, I suggest that Week 13 NFL Picks are winnable….

Walk right in it’s around the back Just a half mile from the railroad track You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant – Arlo Guthrie — The first Thanksgiving included 2009 Week 12 NFL Picks. That’s just one of the revelations in the new VH1 special called; The Pilgrims, Behind the Music. “Governor…

You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold em, Know when to walk away, and know when to run – Kenny Rogers — Oprah Winfrey here to tell you that prayer and careful thought went into these week 11 NFL picks. Oh yeah, I am quitting my show but not until…

These week 10 NFL predictions lost their job. Their greedy CEO cut their salary so he could spend it on Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. These predictions never get a Blue Ribbon, proving that capitalism is unfair and extravagant. These week 10 NFL predictions hate The Man.

The Man just burped.

Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer The future’s uncertain and the end is always near – The Doors KABUL – Hamid Karzai here with my week 9 NFL picks. For a variety of reasons, I’d also like to talk about a quagmire. When my opponent  for president of Afghanistan…