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What's Gonna Happen – Page 4 – A political humor column masquerading as NFL Picks

What do you get for pretending the danger’s not real Meek and obedient you follow the leader – Pink Floyd — These Week 13 NFL Picks have been curated by the KGB and by Alex Jones of Infowars for their veracity. In other words, this bullshit is completely false. But since you won’t bother to…

In the garden I was playing the tart I kissed your lips and broke your heart You, you were acting like it was the end of the world – U2 — These Week 12 NFL Picks just settled a $25 million fraud case against me. I have advised betting on the Cleveland Browns to win…

Oh, a storm is threatening My very life today If I don’t get some shelter Oh yeah, I’m gonna fade away – The Rolling Stones — These Week 10 NFL Picks voted for Donald J. Trump because the Cleveland Browns have not won a game all year. You should have known how desperate we are…

And you tell me Over and over and over again my friend That you don’t believe We’re on the eve of destruction – Barry McGuire — These Week 9 NFL Picks would like to congratulate the one-term president that America is about to elect and then most likely impeach. You may as well be the…

You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes And your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you’d realize There ain’t no way to hide your lyin’ eyes – The Eagles — Boo! This Halloween, we’ve gone nuclear. These Week 8 NFL picks are dressed as an October surprise. No, not a Cleveland Browns win….

Sunday papers don’t ask no questions Sunday papers don’t get no lies Sunday papers don’t raise objections Sunday papers ain’t got no eyes – Joe Jackson — As a card-carrying member of the lamestream media, these week 7 NFL Picks, know exactly how the media rigs everything using facts. For instance, according to the lamestream…

Don’t you want me? You know I don’t believe you When you say you don’t need me – The Human League — In this locker room, when I brag about my week 6 NFL Picks, I am just trying to impress my new campaign manager, Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby and I were talking in the locker…

Mental wounds not healing Who and what’s to blame I’m goin’ off the rails on a crazy train – Ozzy Osbourne — These week 4 NFL picks went to a tremendous watch party at the Trump Dive Bar on Liar Street in the sketchy fun part of downtown Bullshitville, where I was served a huge…