Everybody having a good time except you
You were talking about the end of the world
– U2
—
These Week 16 NFL picks would like to suggest that you give a Cleveland Browns fan as a gift to any loved one having a tough day.
You could send a Cleveland Browns fan over their house to sit in the corner and make your loved one feel better about their own predicament.
This is a great gift for fans of all other NFL teams, as well as anyone who is still freaking out about the election.
The end of the world is coming? Cheer up, you could be a Browns fan.
Sending a Cleveland Browns fan over someone’s house is probably the nicest thing you can do for anyone’s self esteem.
It really is the perfect gift. All you have to do is feed the Browns fan some pizza and a lot of beer, and occasionally listen to some pathetic story about Bernie Kosar and when the Browns were good enough to not get to the Super Bowl.
It’s a weird story and no one outside of Cleveland seems to understand, but if you bear with with this one glitch in the design of the perfect present, you’ll be glad you did.
It is literally impossible to have a bad day when you have a Cleveland Browns fan sitting in the corner, mumbling to himself.
These are scary times in America. Many NFL teams are not very good. Some are very bad. But if you give a Cleveland Browns fan as a gift, your loved ones, no matter how tough their day or how bad their team, is sure to smile at their circumstance.
In fact, get one for yourself, and you’ll smile at whatzgonnahappen.
GIANTS AT EAGLES – Giants 24, Eagles 12
REDSKINS AT BEARS – Redskins 27, Bears 20
DOLPHINS AT BILLS – Dolphins 21, Bills 20
BUCCANEERS AT SAINTS – Saints 41, Buccaneers 38
FALCONS AT PANTHERS – Falcons 30, Panthers 20
VIKINGS AT PACKERS – Packers 24, Vikings 14
JETS AT PATRIOTS – Patriots 30, Jets 10
TITANS AT JAGUARS – Titans 23, Jaguars 13
CHARGERS AT BROWNS – Browns 37, Chargers 36
COLTS AT RAIDERS – Raiders 33, Colts 23
49ers AT RAMS – Rams 4, 49ers 3
CARDINALS AT SEAHAWKS – Seahawks 20, Cardinals 18
BENGALS AT TEXANS – Texans 24, Bengals 17
RAVENS AT STEELERS – Steelers 20, Ravens 17
BRONCOS AT CHIEFS – Chiefs 29, Broncos 19
LIONS AT COWBOYS – Lions 25, Cowboys 23
—
This column is sponsored by Bah Humbug Festive Wear.