I’m Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me
I’ll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy
– Warren Zevon
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Cough! These Week 2 NFL Picks feel dizzy.
Don’t tell the media or anyone. From now on, I will only communicate by email. Call me the email female. I’ve been called worse. I’ve heard you call me worse.
My point is that I am not backing down from when I described all (not half) of Cleveland Browns quarterbacks since 1999 as “a basket of deplorables.”
These quarterbacks have been touchdown-phobic, victory-phobic, health-phobic, you name it. But what they really were was poison to the well being of Cleveland Browns fans who, at this point, would just like to hammer out a peace agreement with the rest of the NFL.
I am not being grossly generalistic. I am being specific about generally gross quarterback play in Northeast Ohio for almost two decades.
It is not hyperbole to call this behavior extremely offensive. There is a track record of this group of people discriminating against fans of the Cleveland Browns. It’s not even subtle, the stuff they do.
One guy called himself “Johnny Football” while drinking margaritas in the huddle. When Brandon Weeden showed up in Cleveland, he deliberately left his brain in Oklahoma. Tim Couch arrived in town with a name that rhymed with “Ouch.”
The stuff they wear, the flags they fly… it’s all deplorable.
One guy wore a Brady Quinn jersey. Can you imagine?
Catch me! I am so dizzy that I am falling.
I thought I was falling for Robert Griffin III. I was wrong. I was just falling. I know my recent health problems have confused you. It’s really nothing. The lithium-ion batteries that I run on overheated. That is all.
So does that mean these week 2 NFL picks are going up in flames? That could be whatzgonnahapen.
JETS AT BILLS – Jets 20, Bills 17
TITANS AT LIONS – Lions 24, Titans 20
CHIEFS AT TEXANS – Texans 23, Chiefs 20
DOLPHINS AT PATRIOTS – Patriots 30, Dolphins 16
RAVENS AT BROWNS – Browns 29, Ravens 27
BENGALS AT STEELERS – Steelers 30, Bengals 27
COWBOYS AT REDSKINS – Redskins 31, Cowboys 13
SAINTS AT GIANTS – Saints 37, Giants 36
49ers AT PANTHERS – Panthers 23, 49ers 6
BUCCANEERS AT CARDINALS – Buccaneers 29, Cardinals 20
SEAHAWKS AT RAMS = Seahawks 33, Rams 10
COLTS AT BRONCOS – Broncos 25, Colts 22
FALCONS AT RAIDERS – Falcons 26, Raiders 13
JAGUARS AT CHARGERS – Chargers 27, Jaguars 24
PACKERS AT VIKINGS – Packers 32, Vikings 19
EAGLES AT BEARS – Eagles 17, Bears 13
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This column is sponsored by Tom Brady’s Mancave