Well you’re where you should be all the time
And when you’re not you’re with
Some underworld spy, or the wife of a close friend
– Carly Simon

The recent indictment of the Cleveland Browns season is fake news to these Week 9 NFL picks. The Browns don’t lose every week. They won’t lose this week.

Sure, some members of the staff may have colluded with the Philadelphia Eagles to deliver the best quarterback in the league to that team. And, okay, they may possibly have also colluded with the Houston Texans to deliver the most exciting rookie quarterback ever to that team.

But there has been no collusion, believe me.

Other teams are bad. It’s not just the Cleveland Browns. The San Francisco 49ers are bad. Wait, what? The 49ers just traded for who? The Browns wanted him. Or maybe they didn’t want him. Either way, NO COLLUSION!

There has been no collusion. The coaching staff can’t even work with the front office. Never mind what’s going on on Twitter.

And while there has been absolutely no collusion whatsoever, believe me, it’s apparent to anyone living in a white house in Cleveland, Ohio or even anywhere in the country that someone very high up is about to take a big fall.

Because if there was any collusion it’s the NFL colluding against Josh Gordon, who smoked pot and was suspended a total of 56 games while the standard suspension for domestic violence is six games. That’s not fake news. It’s just sad!

Under circumstances such as these, it’s so simple that anyone who has ever heard of a white house, knows that what should happen is probably not whatzgonnahappen.


BILLS AT JETS – Jets 23, Bills 20

FALCONS AT PANTHERS – Falcons 29, Panthers 20

RAVENS AT TITANS – Titans 17, Ravens 14

COLTS AT TEXANS – Texans 33, Colts 20

BUCCANEERS AT SAINTS – Saints 31, Buccaneers 21

BRONCOS AT EAGLES – Eagles 23, Broncos 20

BENGALS AT JAGUARS – Bengals 16, Jaguars 12

RAMS AT GIANTS – Giants 24, Rams 20

CARDINALS AT 49ers – Cardinals 19, 49ers 10

REDSKINS AT SEAHAWKS – Seahawks 35, Redskins 24

CHIEFS AT COWBOYS – Chiefs 26, Cowboys 25

RAIDERS AT DOLPHINS – Dolphins 21, Raiders 17

LIONS AT PACKERS – Lions 27, Packers 13


This column is sponsored by Papa’s John’s New All-Baloney Sanctimonious Pizza

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