our tradition<\/a> of screaming at each other like my nine ex-wives scream at me and scream at each of their nine ex-husbands, I’d like to thank all of you who I love so much to remember the passionate immortal words of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell: \u201cI didn’t see anything.\u201d<\/p>\nIn other words, what happens at Christmas stays at Christmas. Yep, that’s whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n
TITANS AT JAGUARS<\/strong> \u2013 Blake Bortles is just good enough to make sure the Jaguars don’t draft an actual talented quarterback. Jaguars 21, Titans 13<\/p>\nEAGLES AT REDSKINS \u2013<\/strong> Mark Sanchez just likes throwing to the other team more, that’s why. Redskins 27, Eagles 24.<\/p>\nCHARGERS AT 49ers<\/strong> \u2013 I am really psychic on these games that have already happened. I bet nobody notices how accurate I really am. Chargers 38, 49ers 35<\/p>\nBROWNS AT PANTHERS \u2013<\/strong> Madison Avenue has this as Money sign versus Superman. But this is more than branding. Last week, Johnny Manziel looked like an 8th grader getting chased by convicted felons. This week, he eats a Snickers bar. Browns 30, Panthers 20<\/p>\nLIONS AT BEARS \u2013<\/strong> Jimmy Clausen? Nice try Bears. Sure, it’s Christmas and all, but he’s not Santa Clausen. Lions 31,Bears 6<\/p>\nRAVENS AT TEXANS \u2013<\/strong> Unless JJ Watt is playing quarterback, which he really should, this gets ugly fast. Ravens 26, Texans 9<\/p>\nVIKINGS AT DOLPHINS \u2013<\/strong> The Mediocre Bowl. Dolphins 21, Vikings 20<\/p>\nFALCONS AT SAINTS \u2013<\/strong> Both defenses are given the day off as a Christmas present. Saints 44, Falcons 43<\/p>\nPATRIOTS AT JETS \u2013<\/strong> Rex Ryan sold his Bill Belichick voodoo doll in a garage sale earlier this month. Big mistake. Patriots 50, Jets 20<\/p>\nCHIEFS AT STEELERS \u2013<\/strong> All I want for Christmas is for the Steelers to lose. Chiefs 27, Steelers 20<\/p>\nPACKERS AT BUCCANEERS \u2013<\/strong> This is an important game for both teams. The Packers want to win for their push to the playoffs and the Buccaneers want to lose in their push for the draft.\u00a0 Mission accomplished. Packers 27, Buccaneers 20<\/p>\nGIANTS AT RAMS \u2013<\/strong> Odell Beckham Jr. performs a performs a triple flip with a half twist on his first touchdown pass as an ode to competitive diving. He’s also a fan of figure skating. Giants 24, Rams 23<\/p>\nCOLTS AT COWBOYS \u2013<\/strong> It has been shown that once Andrew Luck throws a pick six, he’s warmed up. Colts 42, Cowboys 41<\/p>\nBILLS AT RAIDERS<\/strong> \u2013 With only a season or so before they move to Los Angeles, Raiders fans get a victory in Oakland. Raiders 10, Bills 9<\/p>\nSEAHAWKS AT CARDINALS \u2013<\/strong> Ryan Lindley’s Christmas card includes a deer in the headlights. Seahawks 20, Cardinals 3<\/p>\nBRONCOS AT BENGALS \u2013<\/strong> Andy Dalton knows how to lose prime time games as well as anyone. Broncos 26, Bengals 13<\/p>\nThis column is sponsored by Humbug.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Now the family is crazy And they’re out of their minds They kick it up a notch at Christmastime – Steve Shook & The Elftones — These week 16 NFL picks have given you each vodka for Christmas. You are going to be a big hit in third grade, Jimmy! I did this because each…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[109],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1256"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1261,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256\/revisions\/1261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}