<\/a><\/span><\/p>\nBut to the rescue of the city of Cleveland comes one Jonathan Q. Football, better known as Johnny Football, who is the kind of hard working, hard drinking hero a town like Cleveland needs. Wait, Cleveland’s hero doesn’t drink? All its fans do. Ah, no wonder the factory of sadness is the last factory still standing in town..<\/span><\/p>\nWell, as Peace on Earth, I say that factory of sadness should be torn down, and a factory of happiness should be built instead. Yes, I am Peace on Earth and, as you may have already figured out, what I want to happen is not whatzgonnahappen.<\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\nBROWNS AT BENGALS –<\/strong> Many people said when Johnny Manziel was drafted that he needed to sit a while. Step one is complete. It’s time for some prime-time magic, running the play “Tequila, Whiskey, Budweiser 40-ounce, rolled-up bill, snort right on three” Works every time. Money sign! Browns 42, Bengals 41<\/span><\/p>\nRAIDERS AT STEELERS –<\/strong> Ken Stabler and Terry Bradshaw would recognize this one. Steelers 32, Raiders 31. <\/span><\/p>\nJAGUARS AT JETS –<\/strong> If the Jaguars can lose this game, they have a great chance to win their division. Jets 22, Jaguars 10<\/span><\/p>\nTITANS AT SAINTS –<\/strong> Drew Brees sure plays pretty good for a washed up guy. Seven touchdowns. Okay, sure his defense gave up six touchdowns. But still, seven! Saints 50, Titans 39 <\/span><\/p>\nRAMS AT VIKINGS –<\/strong> Adrian Peterson passes the torch to Todd Gurley, prompting many to ask Peterson what was he thinking by carrying a torch on the field. Vikings 24, Rams 20 <\/span><\/p>\nDOLPHINS AT BILLS –<\/strong> Rex Ryan begs Joe Philbin to try to get his job back. Dolphins 26, Bills 17<\/span><\/p>\nREDSKINS AT PATRIOTS –<\/strong> The Patriots Chief Nefarious Affairs Officer puts Icy Hot in the jockstraps of the Redskins, and bubble gum in their shoes. Patriots 62, Redskins 10<\/span><\/p>\nPACKERS AT PANTHERS –<\/strong> I think I like the Panthers to do a big bit of growing here against a team that may want to doublecheck expectations. Panthers 30, Packers 23<\/span><\/p>\nFALCONS AT 49ers =<\/strong> Blame Gabbert. Falcons 40, 49ers 3<\/span><\/p>\nGIANTS AT BUCCANEERS –<\/strong> Defense players are stopped by security and not allowed in the stadium. Giants 50, Buccaneers 42<\/span><\/p>\nBRONCOS AT COLTS –<\/strong> Peyton raises one finger to Jim Irsay to let him know that he is number 1. Andrew Luck throws five interceptions. A janitor is blamed, and fired. Broncos 37, Colts 13<\/span><\/p>\nEAGLES AT COWBOYS –<\/strong> The Cowboys aren’t very good. The Eagles aren’t very good. should be a good game. Cowboys 27 Eagles 26<\/span><\/p>\nBEARS AT CHARGERS –<\/strong> Because his teams stink, no one in the future will remember how great Philip Rivers is. Heck, most now don’t know. Chargers 35, Bears 33<\/span><\/p>\nBYE AT RAVENS –<\/strong> Ray Lewis revisits to promote his new autobiography, “The Wire.”<\/span><\/p>\nBYE AT LIONS –<\/strong> Martha Ford changes her last name to Toyota. <\/span><\/p>\nBYE AT TEXANS –<\/strong> Ryan Mallett is still trying to figure out what plane he was supposed be on, and in fact, what team.<\/span><\/p>\nBYE AT CHIEFS –<\/strong> Andy Reid plays poker and asks about the wild card.<\/span><\/p>\nBYE AT SEAHAWKS –<\/strong> Russell Wilson spends the whole week looking at his baseball card collection.<\/span><\/p>\n—<\/p>\n
This column is sponsored by Paul Brown & Bill Belichick, both fired by the Cleveland Browns.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Imagine there’s no countries It isn’t hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too – John Lennon — These Week 9 NFL Picks are bought to you by Peace On Earth, which, just like the Cleveland Browns defense, does not exist. But since I am Peace on Earth, I have…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[111],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1443"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1445,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1443\/revisions\/1445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}