We don’t need no education
\nWe don’t need no thought control
\n<\/em>–\tPink Floyd<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

These Week 10 NFL Picks from the campus of Cleveland Browns University demand that everyone step down who runs this sorry excuse for a college. I have been here for decades, and I have not learned anything.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/a>This offends me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am so offended that I wanted my football team to go on strike. But it turns out that the football team at Cleveland Browns University is already on strike.<\/span><\/p>\n

From what I have heard, they don’t like to play football. <\/span><\/p>\n

So I talked to my bartender\/professor about this. Here at Cleveland Browns University, bars count as classrooms.<\/span><\/p>\n

This explains the curriculum.<\/span><\/p>\n

My professor said “It is what it is” and then he assigned me to think about this for a long time.<\/span><\/p>\n

But I felt a need to take action, which is why I am chanting next to that guy over there with his 12th-generation “The End Is Near” sign.<\/span><\/p>\n

He knows whatzgonnahappen.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

BILLS AT JETS –<\/strong> The guy commissioned to make a Rex Ryan statue moved from New York to Buffalo, but he is still working on the feet. Bills 22, Jets 17<\/span><\/p>\n

LIONS AT PACKERS –<\/strong> The Lions stay home and watch kitten videos. Packers 44, Lions 20<\/span><\/p>\n

COWBOYS AT BUCCANEERS –<\/strong> Greg Hardy sings the Rod Stewart song, “Every Picture Tells a Story, Don’t It” while sacking Jameis Winston. Matt Cassell is not horrible, which is good enough. Cowboys 26, Buccaneers 14<\/span><\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT TITANS –<\/strong> The Panthers were patient with Cam Newton, and now it is paying off. Panthers 31, Titans 11<\/span><\/p>\n

BEARS AT RAMS –<\/strong> The Rams defensive line are in a Thanksgiving mood by getting to feast on Jay Cutler. Rams 20, Bears 19<\/span><\/p>\n

SAINTS AT REDSKINS –<\/strong> The Saints porous defense will probably make Kirk Cousins look like Drew Brees. But Drew Brees will outduel his doppelganger. Saints 39, Redskins 25<\/span><\/p>\n

DOLPHINS AT EAGLES –<\/strong> In the week to week reactions of the NFL media, Sam Bradford is now Johnny Unitas. Or wait, is Dan Campbell now Don Shula? I can never remember. Eagles 30, Dolphins 24<\/span><\/p>\n

BROWNS AT STEELERS –<\/strong> The Browns drive into Pittsburgh with 53 limos, each painted a different color and each arriving at a different time. Mike Pettine organized this. Meanwhile, Johnny Manziel interprets “playing from the pocket” as playing from the seat of his pants. Browns 50, Steelers 0 <\/span><\/p>\n

JAGUARS AT RAVENS –<\/strong> The Ravens defense makes Blake Bortles look good. Try that at home, the Ravens do.. Jaguars 31, Ravens 21<\/span><\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT RAIDERS –<\/strong> At halftime, both young quarterbacks legally change their names to\u00a0 Johnny Manziel. Raiders 22, Vikings 17<\/span><\/p>\n

CHIEFS AT BRONCOS –<\/strong> The Broncos go from invincible to very vincible. Chiefs 28, Broncos 22<\/span><\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT GIANTS –<\/strong> Patriots receivers apply stick-em to their helmets so that every catch in the game is David Tyree style, because karma is a bitch this year. Brady has a great day throwing at helmets. Patriots 38, Giants 23.<\/span><\/p>\n

CARDINALS AT SEAHAWKS –<\/strong> It’s the kind of season that has Pete Carroll remembering how much fun he had at USC. Cardinals 23, Seahawks 21<\/span><\/p>\n

TEXANS AT BENGALS<\/strong> – Brian Hoyer will outplay Andy Dalton, giving the Bengals their first loss. Texans 29, Bengals 22<\/span><\/p>\n

BYE AT FALCONS –<\/strong> After losing to the Buccaneers and 49ers in consecutive weeks, players are told it is okay to make personal plans during Super Bowl week, and most likely during the playoffs.<\/span><\/p>\n

BYE AT COLTS –<\/strong> Andrew Luck starts thinking about what coach he’d like to hire for next year.<\/span><\/p>\n

BYE AT CHARGERS –<\/strong> Everyone spends the week packing for Los Angeles.<\/span><\/p>\n

BYE AT 49ers –<\/strong> Thankfully for the 49ers, San Francisco is a sanctuary city.<\/span><\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by Ben Carson’s Bible (he wrote it).<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We don’t need no education We don’t need no thought control – Pink Floyd — These Week 10 NFL Picks from the campus of Cleveland Browns University demand that everyone step down who runs this sorry excuse for a college. I have been here for decades, and I have not learned anything. This offends me….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[111],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1449"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1449"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1449\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1452,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1449\/revisions\/1452"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1449"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1449"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1449"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}