I shot the sheriff
\nBut I swear it was in self defense
\n<\/i>– Bob Marley<\/p>\n

==<\/p>\n

You are not getting week 1 NFL picks from Colin Kaepernick until the Cleveland Browns are treated better by the rest of the league.<\/p>\n

Look, I know you came here for NFL picks. I can hear the National Anthem as a prelude to the start of the picks. But my brain is in no better shape than Teddy Bridgewater\u2019s knee.<\/p>\n

My brain suffered a non-contact injury thinking about the presidential election. It was after my injury that I thought those pig socks were a good idea.<\/p>\n

Still, I am glad you are paying attention to me. And I know you want me to protest in a different manner – a manner in which you wouldn\u2019t have to pay attention.<\/p>\n

But as I told Hillary Clinton in an email, receiving $12 million to play backup quarterback is my own hardship. But this isn\u2019t about me or any of the clandestine Goldman Sachs work that I\u2019ve done for the Clinton Foundation.<\/p>\n

This is about the abuse of lesser teams in our league.<\/p>\n

Sure, my 49ers are just as woeful as the Cleveland Browns. I don\u2019t care at all about that. If we can\u2019t make the Cleveland Browns great again, what\u2019s the point of my being a double agent for the man who is as orange as the Browns helmet, Donald Trump?<\/p>\n

Yes, that is right. Just as I am half black and half white, I am working for both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton because, with these two as our choice, no lives matter. And the truth is that every day, like you, I change my mind on who I dislike more.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like trying to pick a Cleveland Browns starting quarterback. There are no good choices and no matter what you do, you know the season is going down in screaming ball of flames.<\/p>\n

This is why I am more concerned about the Browns than the 49ers.<\/p>\n

If I was concerned about the 49ers, I probably wouldn\u2019t be the lead story on the CBS Evening News. Instead, I am concerned about America – specifically the portion in Northeast Ohio.<\/p>\n

Since we are in the season of conspiracy theories, try this one on: I am hoping to force my way out San Francisco so I can go to Cleveland and become the Browns next failed starting quarterback. Pretty good, huh? Someone call Alex Jones.<\/p>\n

The National Anthem just ended. It\u2019s time for me to stand up and tell you one more conspiracy theory. When I was working for Trump, I helped Tom Brady deflate those footballs. Then I worked for Clinton and told Roger Goodell.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when he laughed and said, \u201cYou\u2019re not going to believe whatzgonnahappen.\u201d<\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT BRONCOS – Panthers, 23, Broncos 20<\/p>\n

BROWNS AT EAGLES – Browns 32, Eagles 31[poll id=”1″]<\/p>\n

BUCCANEERS AT FALCONS – Buccaneers 30, Falcons 20<\/p>\n

BENGALS AT JETS – Bengals 27, Jets 24<\/p>\n

BEARS AT TEXANS – Texans 24, Bears 17<\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT TITANS – Titans 18, Vikings 10<\/p>\n

BILLS AT RAVENS – Bills 35, Ravens 24<\/p>\n

PACKERS AT JAGUARS – Jaguars 28, Packers 27<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT CHIEFS – Chargers 23, Chiefs 21<\/p>\n

RAIDERS AT SAINTS – Saints 47, Raiders 43<\/p>\n

DOLPHINS AT SEAHAWKS – Seahawks 29, Dolphins 7<\/p>\n

LIONS AT COLTS – Colts 27, Lions 24<\/p>\n

GIANTS AT COWBOYS – Giants 31, Cowboys 10<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT CARDINALS – Cardinals 26, Patriots 6<\/p>\n

STEELERS AT REDSKINS – Redskins 31, Steelers 21<\/p>\n

RAMS AT 49ers – Rams 20, 49ers 17<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by the Roger Ailes Charm Society.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I shot the sheriff But I swear it was in self defense – Bob Marley == You are not getting week 1 NFL picks from Colin Kaepernick until the Cleveland Browns are treated better by the rest of the league. Look, I know you came here for NFL picks. I can hear the National Anthem…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[113],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1521"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1521"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1521\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1528,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1521\/revisions\/1528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}