Sunday papers don\u2019t ask no questions
\nSunday papers don\u2019t get no lies
\nSunday papers don\u2019t raise objections
\nSunday papers ain\u2019t got no eyes
\n<\/i>– Joe Jackson<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

As a card-carrying member of the lamestream media, these week 7 NFL Picks, know exactly how the media rigs everything using facts.<\/p>\n

For instance, according to the lamestream media, the Cleveland Browns lost the first six games of this NFL season. I refuse to accept those results because I know how the conspiracy works.<\/p>\n

The Cleveland Browns are winners. The media refuses to accept it. But I know better.\u00a0Sure, I am in danger of getting kicked out of the lamestream media for saying it, but I am positive that 0-6 doesn\u2019t feel true. Still, I know how it works.<\/p>\n

It works like this. Every Wednesday at noon, we in the lamestream media go to Anderson Cooper\u2019s house for bong hits and tiny sandwiches, and then we listen to a guy from from Wells Fargo tell us what to rig. For some reason, Wells Fargo doesn\u2019t like the Cleveland Browns.<\/p>\n

Bernie Kosar’ supporters had this figured out back in the 1980s when the Browns were losing AFC championships in back-to-back years to the John Elway\u2019s Denver Broncos.<\/p>\n

The idealistic Bernie people like to quote their favorite source of news, Wikileaks, in which emails show, shockingly, that politicians play politics and the Browns are not allowed in the Super Bowl. It should not be that way, say the Bernie people. They are so darn cute.<\/p>\n

When we in the lamestream media gather one day a week at Anderson Cooper\u2019s house, after beer pong is over, we spend the rest of the afternoon rigging stuff. It\u2019s pretty much all the media does. Once in a while, we might send a reporter to talk to the mayor about potholes, but usually it\u2019s 24\/7 rigging. That\u2019s why these meetings are so important. That and the tiny sandwiches.<\/p>\n

All the news everywhere, especially the fact-based stuff by the lamestream media, is rigged. In the media, we always know whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

BEARS AT PACKERS – <\/b>Packers 26, Bears 10<\/p>\n

GIANTS VS. RAMS AT LONDON – <\/b>Rams 24, Giants 13<\/p>\n

SAINTS AT CHIEFS – <\/b>Chiefs 30, Saints 28<\/p>\n

REDSKINS AT LIONS – <\/b>Lions 17, Redskins 14<\/p>\n

BROWNS AT BENGALS – <\/b>Browns 24, Bengals 23<\/p>\n

BILLS AT DOLPHINS – <\/b>Dolphins 23, Bills 20<\/p>\n

RAIDERS AT JAGUARS – <\/b>Raiders 42, Jaguars 32<\/p>\n

COLTS AT TITANS – <\/b>Colts 27, Titans 26<\/p>\n

RAVENS AT JETS – <\/b>Jets 29, Ravens 20<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT FALCONS – <\/b>Falcons 33, Chargers 24<\/p>\n

BUCCANEERS AT 49ers – <\/b>49ers 21, Buccaneers 19<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT STEELERS –<\/b> Patriots 36, Steelers 16<\/p>\n

SEAHAWKS AT CARDINALS – <\/b>Seahawks 22, Cardinals 12<\/p>\n

TEXANS AT BRONCOS – <\/b>Broncos 24, Broncos 16<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by Andrew Miller For President<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunday papers don\u2019t ask no questions Sunday papers don\u2019t get no lies Sunday papers don\u2019t raise objections Sunday papers ain\u2019t got no eyes – Joe Jackson — As a card-carrying member of the lamestream media, these week 7 NFL Picks, know exactly how the media rigs everything using facts. For instance, according to the lamestream…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[113],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1565"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1579,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1565\/revisions\/1579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}