News guy wept and told us
\nEarth was really dying
\n<\/i>– David Bowie<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

These Week 17 NFL Picks would like to take one final time to say goodbye to David Bowie, the United States of America, and the Cleveland Browns year-long losing streak.<\/p>\n

All will be missed in their own way.<\/p>\n

The Browns began the year by pinning their hopes on fragile-as-glass Robert Griffin III, who was last good during the first Obama administration. And now, after the most emotional win an 0-14 team could ever have, the Browns are pinning their hopes on the football season ending.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been that kind of year. Heroes died, an unstable authoritarian was elected president by folks educated from Texas schoolbooks, and one win out of 15 games is what my favorite NFL team called \u201ctheir Super Bowl.\u201d It seemed like reality cracked.<\/p>\n

The NFL, which throws the American flag and the military and God and how much they care about women in our face during every game, sure showed their moral compass this year.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The all-knowing league suspended Tom Brady for four games for doing something that they can\u2019t prove, suspended Josh Gordon indefinitely for smoking pot, which is legal in several states in America, and allowed Tyreek Hill, who beat up his pregnant girlfriend, to run around scoring touchdowns for the Kanas City Chiefs.<\/p>\n

Old acquaintances, like that year-long losing streak and common decency, must be forgotten. As the season and the year mercifully come to an end, we soon realize that as bad as 2016 was, there\u2019s another year coming.<\/p>\n

In 2017, just imagine whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

TEXANS AT TITANS – <\/b>Texans 20, Titans 17<\/p>\n

BILLS AT JETS –<\/b> Bills 10, Jets 6<\/p>\n

RAVENS AT BENGALS – <\/b>Bengals 24, Ravens 17<\/p>\n

GIANTS AT REDSKINS –<\/b> Redskins 25, Giants 18<\/p>\n

PACKERS AT LIONS –<\/b> Packers 29, Lions 27<\/p>\n

JAGUARS AT COLTS – <\/b>Colts 30, Jaguars 20<\/p>\n

COWBOYS AT EAGLES –<\/b> Cowboys 24, Eagles 19<\/p>\n

BEARS AT VIKINGS –<\/b> Vikings 23, Bears 20<\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT BUCCANEERS – <\/b>Buccaneers 26, Panthers 20<\/p>\n

BROWNS AT STEELERS –<\/b> Browns 31, Steelers 30<\/p>\n

SAINTS AT FALCONS –<\/b> SAINTS 50, FALCONS 48<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT DOLPHINS – <\/b>Patriots 30, Dolphins 20<\/p>\n

CARDINALS AT RAMS –<\/b> Cardinals 24, Rams 17<\/p>\n

CHIEFS AT CHARGERS –<\/b> Chiefs 33, Chargers 23<\/p>\n

SEAHAWKS AT 49ers – <\/b>Seahawks 23, 49ers 18<\/p>\n

RAIDERS AT BRONCOS –<\/b> Broncos 10, Raiders 7<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by gravity-science deniers.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

News guy wept and told us Earth was really dying – David Bowie — These Week 17 NFL Picks would like to take one final time to say goodbye to David Bowie, the United States of America, and the Cleveland Browns year-long losing streak. All will be missed in their own way. The Browns began…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[113],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1648,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions\/1648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}