Every day your memory grows dimmer
\nIt doesn\u2019t haunt me like it did before
\nI\u2019ve been walking through the mirror to nowhere
\nTryin\u2019 to get to heaven before they close the door
\n<\/i>– Bob Dylan<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

These week 5 NFL Picks, having done no research, would like to thank you for your thoughts and prayers after my horrible picks last week when I picked the Cleveland Browns to win.<\/p>\n

This week, I am picking Browns. Yes, the Browns again. Every week, I pick the Browns and every week the Browns lose, and then you offer your thoughts and prayers.<\/p>\n

Golly, thanks.<\/p>\n

You have no idea how comforting that is, or is not. Seriously, you with your thoughts and prayers, who have never cheered for such a team ever, have no idea of this pain. Do you?<\/p>\n

And while I have repeatedly asked for your help in learning about football, you said that now was not the time for me to learn the rules of football or what exactly a quarterback does.<\/p>\n

That is a conversation for sometime in the future. That is what I have been told ever since I first asked.<\/p>\n

Yet every week when I get the picks wrong, people are horrified.\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Browns, again? Yes, the Browns again.<\/p>\n

At this point, I can\u2019t even remember why I am picking the Cleveland Browns to win again after so many horrible losses when my pleas for help are continually ignored. But I do.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s what happened, and forever it\u2019s whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT BUCCANEERS – Patriots 19, Buccaneers 14<\/p>\n

BILLS AT BENGALS – Bills 27, Bengals 13<\/p>\n

CARDINALS AT EAGLES – Eagles 30, Cardinals 23<\/p>\n

JAGUARS AT STEELERS – Steelers 32, Jaguars 14<\/p>\n

TITANS AT DOLPHINS – Titans 23, Dolphins 20<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT GIANTS – Chargers 24, Giants 21<\/p>\n

49ers AT COLTS – Colts 22, 49ers 19<\/p>\n

JETS AT BROWNS – Browns 34, Jets 3<\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT LIONS – Lions 25, Panthers 17<\/p>\n

RAVENS AT RAIDERS – Raiders 35, Ravens 25<\/p>\n

SEAHAWKS AT RAMS – Rams 31, Seahawks 20<\/p>\n

PACKERS AT COWBOYS – Packers 41, Cowboys 40<\/p>\n

CHIEFS AT TEXANS – Chiefs 24, Texans 23<\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT BEARS – Vikings 27, Bears 17<\/p>\n

\u2014<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by my right to own a tank.\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every day your memory grows dimmer It doesn\u2019t haunt me like it did before I\u2019ve been walking through the mirror to nowhere Tryin\u2019 to get to heaven before they close the door – Bob Dylan — These week 5 NFL Picks, having done no research, would like to thank you for your thoughts and prayers…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[117],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1710"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1710"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1710\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1715,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1710\/revisions\/1715"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1711"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1710"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1710"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1710"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}