I shouted out,
\nWho killed the Kennedys?
\nWhen after all
\nIt was you and me
\n<\/i>– Rolling Stones<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

After more than five decades, secret files have been released showing I acted alone making these Week 8 NFL picks. Or did I?<\/p>\n

Ever since the early 1960s, conspiracy theories have floated as to what exactly happened when the Cleveland Browns last won a championship. After that moment, our innocence died. Things would never be the same again. And for decades the government kept these juicy details locked away.<\/p>\n

But now we know that the then new Browns owner, Art Modell was already secretly meeting with city officials in Baltimore with his now-clear plan to move the Browns to Baltimore three decades later.<\/p>\n

We also know that starting in the 1999 and probably continuing to this day, the parents of future Browns quarterbacks have conspired to produce a mediocre quarterbacks, 28 and counting. This is like the Da Vinci Code, only it is called the Spergon Wynn Code.<\/p>\n

As soon as they won their last championship in 1964, they began a spiral that started in the next championship game with a 65-12 thrashing from the Green Bay Packers.<\/p>\n

Soon they\u2019d be losing to the Dallas Cowboys in championship games. Dallas, of all cities. Something else historic happened in Dallas in the early 1960s too. I can\u2019t remember what.<\/p>\n

But the Browns were done winning championships by the early 1960s. The Browns started losing championship games to Dallas, and Green Bay, and the Baltimore Colts, who later moved to Indianapolis, which was part of the conspiracy.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t say \u201cBaltimore\u201d around me. I\u2019ve got a few conspiracy theories. Hello, Alex Jones\u2026<\/p>\n

And President Trump is part of it. Why do you think he\u2019s keeping some of it secret. He signed Brian Sipe from the Browns for his goofy USFL when Brian Sipe was playing like an NFL MVP.<\/p>\n

And everyone now knows, because of the released files, that Trump was planning that since the early 1960s when he was bored one November afternoon while cleaning his NRA-approved gun on a grassy knoll in Dallas.<\/p>\n

And so, given history, you never know whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

DOLPHINS AT RAVENS – Dolphins 40, Ravens 0<\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT BROWNS IN LONDON – Browns 1, Vikings 0<\/p>\n

49ers AT EAGLES\u00a0 -Eagles 32, 49ers 20<\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT BUCCANEERS – Buccaneers 24, Panthers 22<\/p>\n

BEARS AT SAINTS – Saints 34, Bears 13<\/p>\n

FALCONS AT JETS – Jets 26, Falcons 21<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT PATRIOTS – Patriots 42, Chargers 32<\/p>\n

RAIDERS AT BILLS – Bills 31, Raiders 24<\/p>\n

COLTS AT BENGALS – Bengals 24, Colts 23<\/p>\n

TEXANS AT SEAHAWKS – Seahawks 33, Texans 17<\/p>\n

COWBOYS AT REDSKINS – Redskins 27, Cowboys 24<\/p>\n

STEELERS AT LIONS – Lions 24, Steelers 21<\/p>\n

BRONCOS AT CHIEFS – Chiefs 31, Broncos 20<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil.<\/em><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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