You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
\nToo much love drives a man insane
\nYou broke my will, but what a thrill
\nGoodness, gracious, great balls of fire
\n<\/i>– Jerry Lee Lewis<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

These Week 10 NFL picks have just received a copy of an astonishing apology issued by the Cleveland Browns to their fans for years of inappropriate behavior.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe allegations are true. We have totally screwed the fans for years against their will,\u201d said the beginning of a press release by the Cleveland Browns.<\/p>\n

The most the team has ever said in the past was the rote, \u201cWe apologize to anyone we may have offended with our horrible football.\u201d<\/p>\n

But this was an explicit admission. The team screwed the fans.<\/p>\n

Okay, this is fake news. The Browns have not admitted anything.<\/p>\n

They have instead cited the Bible and the story of how Joseph drafted Bernie Kosar on his way to Bethlehem, or something like that. The Cleveland Browns ever-evolving explanations for why they screwed the fans against their will are a bit difficult to fathom.<\/p>\n

And yet, denial is not just a river in Egypt. It is the official policy of the Cleveland Browns, who deny screwing anyone or anything up.<\/p>\n

All is going according to plan with the Browns just as in Washington DC and Hollywood, where no one has ever screwed anyone against their will.<\/p>\n

Considering that things never change, it\u2019s now clear whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

SEAHAWKS AT CARDINALS – Seahawks 22, Cardinals 16<\/p>\n

SAINTS AT BILLS – Bills 30, Saints 27<\/p>\n

BENGALS AT TITANS – Titans 28, Bengals 17<\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT REDSKINS – Redskins 21, Vikings 20<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT JAGUARS – Jaguars 25, Chargers 19<\/p>\n

JETS AT BUCCANEERS – Jets 23, Buccaneers 21<\/p>\n

PACKERS AT BEARS – Bears 17, Packers 13<\/p>\n

BROWNS AT LIONS – Browns 42, Lions 41<\/p>\n

STEELERS AT COLTS – Steelers 35, Colts 10<\/p>\n

TEXANS AT RAMS – Rams 40, Texans 13<\/p>\n

COWBOYS AT FALCONS – Falcons 27, Cowboys 24<\/p>\n

GIANTS AT 49ers – 49ers 20, Giants 14<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT BRONCOS – Broncos 24, Patriots 17<\/p>\n

DOLPHINS AT PANTHERS – Panthers 29, Dolphins 9<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by \u201cJerry Jones & Roger Goodell, The Musical\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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