\u201cLife\u2019s the same except for my shoes\u201d<\/em>
\n– The Cars<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

Did you see the press conference when I stood up and threw a shoe at Browns coach Romeo Crennel? He dodged it as if he\u2019s been dodging thrown shoes his whole life. No big deal.<\/p>\n

The truth is, I am a Romeo supporter. I was aiming at Browns GM <\/strong>Phil Savage. That\u2019s why I am a Romeo supporter. Phil drafted me as a quarterback, but Romeo was smart enough not to play me. Instead, he put me in charge of asking the difficult questions.<\/p>\n

As soon as I was finished in Cleveland, I shuffled off to Buffalo, where I heaved some snow boots at Bills coach Dick Jauron and then I flew out to Oakland to join the mob throwing shoes at Al Davis.<\/p>\n

The next thing I knew, I was so popular that I had my own shoe deal<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

————————<\/strong><\/p>\n

See FREECHEEZEBURGERZ.COM<\/strong> FOR\u00a0 Scott Boras Will Get You A Multi-Year Deal!<\/a><\/p>\n

See my column on theobr.com<\/strong> FOR Complaints About The Cleveland Browns Bandwagon<\/a><\/p>\n

—————————<\/p>\n

The problem, of course, is that no one can afford shoes anymore.<\/p>\n

Many have resorted to throwing toenail clippings but I say that this is not the kind of country that I want to live in \u2013 where patriotic shoe throwing has been somehow transformed into icky toenail tossing.<\/p>\n

Every press conference I go to these days, I try to ask questions. But it is difficult with so many out-of-work newspaper reporters loudly clipping their toenails in the hope of being called on to ask a question.<\/p>\n

Still, I go because I am just like Tom Joad.<\/strong> I\u2019ll be around in the dark; I\u2019ll be everywhere, waiting with shoes and questions. Wherever there\u2019s a team stinking, I\u2019ll be there with shoes and questions. Wherever a coach has a team going backwards, I\u2019ll be there with shoes and questions. I\u2019ll be there in a way that\u2019s stops a wide receiver from dropping another damn football \u2013 yes, I\u2019ll be there with shoes and questions. If a referee can\u2019t see or read the rules, I\u2019ll be there with shoes and questions. Wherever there\u2019s failure and anger, I\u2019ll be there. Yeah, that\u2019s whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n

COLTS AT JAGUARS<\/strong> \u2013 Peyton is having a playground season because just like a playground game, the Colts spot the Jaguars 14 until the fourth when Peyton tosses four touchdowns. Colts 28, Jaguars 14<\/p>\n

RAVENS AT COWBOYS<\/strong> \u2013 Ray Lewis overdoses on some bad vitriol that he got from Terrell Owens. Meanwhile the Cowboys are spent after last week plus if they are not, Wade Philips will de-motivate them as only he can. Ravens 21, Cowboys 13<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

DOLPHINS AT CHIEFS<\/strong> \u2013 Chad Pennington, who went to the playoffs with Herm Edwards as his coach, decides to play his worst game as a Dolphin. It\u2019s Christmas season. Chiefs 20, Dolphins 17<\/p>\n

BENGALS AT BROWNS<\/strong> \u2013 During pre-game warm-ups, Romeo Crennel and Marvin Lewis discuss how next fall will be a perfect time for their two families to take an extended vacation together – anywhere but Ohio. The Browns rely on the offensive strategy of four Brandon McDonald interceptions for touchdowns. That, and magic. Browns 28, Bengals 21<\/p>\n

49ERS AT RAMS<\/strong> \u2013 Jim Haslett\u2019s squad is winning until the fourth quarter because of Stephen Jackson. Then Coach Haslett doesn\u2019t give the ball to Jackson anymore. 49ers 24, Rams 17<\/p>\n

SAINTS AT LIONS<\/strong> \u2013 If the United Nations had any guts, it would be involved in the Lions season by now. Saints 50, Lions 20<\/p>\n

CARDINALS AT PATRIOTS<\/strong> \u2013 It\u2019s late December. Those are the Cardinals and that guy over there is Bill Belichick. Patriots 30, Cardinals 17<\/p>\n

STEELERS AT TITANS<\/strong> \u2013 Jeff Fischer\u2019s team is not about to melt, not now. In the playoffs, sure \u2013 but not now. Titans 20, Steelers 17<\/p>\n

CHARGERS AT BUCCANEERS<\/strong> \u2013 Philip Rivers will have his best years torpedoed by Norv Turner, while Jon Gruden proves to be the anti-Norv. Buccaneers 24, Chargers 21<\/p>\n

BILLS AT BRONCOS<\/strong> \u2013 It\u2019s the fourth quarter when Bills Coach Dick Jauron decides what to give Broncos Coach Mike Shanahan for Christmas. Then he gives another one. Other coaches love this guy! Broncos 34, Bills 20<\/p>\n

TEXANS AT RAIDERS<\/strong> \u2013 JaMarcus Russell Fumbles is a great band name. Texans 27, Raiders 20<\/p>\n

JETS AT SEAHAWKS<\/strong> \u2013 The Seahawks are the best 3-11 team in the league and the Jets are about to find out how overrated the Jets are. Seahawks 28, Jets 24<\/p>\n

EAGLES AT REDSKINS<\/strong> \u2013 While Brian Westbrook is scoring three touchdowns, Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is practicing his well-practiced Donald Trump \u201cYou\u2019re fired!\u201d routine for soon-to-be-unemployed Jim Zorn. Eagles 31, Redskins 19<\/p>\n

FALCONS AT VIKINGS<\/strong> \u2013 Tarvaris Jackson outplays Matt Ryan, and Adrian Peterson outplays everybody. Vikings 24, Falcons 20<\/p>\n

PANTHERS AT GIANTS<\/strong> \u2013 Last year in late December the Giants rode a close loss to the Patriots all the way to the Super Bowl. That\u2019s probably the most hopeful way for a Giants fan to look at this game. Panthers 18, Giants 14<\/p>\n

PACKERS AT BEARS<\/strong> \u2013 Kyle Orton carves up the Packers better than a cheese knife through cheese. Bears 31, Packers 13
\n—<\/p>\n

This column is sponsored by humbug – 50 percent off. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cLife\u2019s the same except for my shoes\u201d – The Cars — Did you see the press conference when I stood up and threw a shoe at Browns coach Romeo Crennel? He dodged it as if he\u2019s been dodging thrown shoes his whole life. No big deal. The truth is, I am a Romeo supporter. I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19\/revisions\/42"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}