I’d rather laugh with the sinners
\nThan cry with the saints
\nThe sinners are much more fun<\/p>\n

<\/em> –\tBilly Joel<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

When James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather suggested that I not make these Week 7 NFL picks because I have the mental capacity of a green pepper, I scoffed.<\/p>\n

<\/a> Sure my head hurts from the helmet-to-helmet hits I took making these picks. And yes, to answer your question, I often wear a helmet. I am told it is for my own good. To answer your second question, I drool and spit like this all the time. I am told it is part of my charm.<\/p>\n

But that doesn’t mean I can’t get right back out here and keep predicting the Cleveland Browns are about to go on a winning streak that leads them to the Super Bowl. Brain damage? I don’t have a clue what you are talking about. But I am told this is whatzgonnahappen. <\/p>\n

JAGUARS AT CHIEFS \u2013<\/strong> Maurice Jones-Drew plays quarterback, the Jaguars run the Wishbone Offense, and Jack Del Rio wears a Bear Bryant hat. But the good news is that the Jaguars are already halfway to Los Angeles. Chiefs 37, Jaguars 13<\/p>\n

49ers AT PANTHERS \u2013<\/strong> The field is covered with banana peels. 49ers 12, Panthers 10<\/p>\n

BENGALS AT FALCONS \u2013<\/strong> While Matt Ryan claws his way towards the top echelon of NFL quarterbacks, Carson Palmer has a cliff named after him. Falcons 24, Bengals 21<\/p>\n

BYE AT LIONS \u2013<\/strong> Calvin Johnson orders a cheeseburger and pays for it, but then the drive through window closes. That’s the rules.<\/p>\n

EAGLES AT TITANS \u2013<\/strong> Andy Reid uses MichaelVick like Charlie Manuel uses Roy Oswalt. Titans 21, Eagles 20<\/p>\n

BROWNS AT SAINTS \u2013<\/strong> Colt McCoy shows Drew Brees how to play quarterback, and then he begins composing his Hall Of Fame speech. Browns 24, Saints 13<\/p>\n

BILLS AT RAVENS \u2013<\/strong> The United Nations should be called in to stop this one. Ray Lewis is accosted by someone wearing a Ray Lewis Halloween costume. There are no witnesses willing to testify. Ravens<\/p>\n

BYE AT COLTS \u2013<\/strong> Peyton Manning throws two touchdowns while sitting on his couch.<\/p>\n

RAMS AT BUCCANEERS \u2013<\/strong> This is the Gomer Pyle game \u2013 Surprise, surprise, surprise! Rams 28, Buccaneers 27<\/p>\n

REDSKINS AT BEARS \u2013<\/strong> Jay Cutler begs to wear a uniform without a target on it. Redskins 22, Bears 17<\/p>\n

STEELERS AT DOLPHINS \u2013<\/strong> When Ricky Williams nears the goal line, James Harrison lays down a red carpet and tosses flowers in the air. The commissioner is pleased. Dolphins 26, Steelers 25<\/p>\n

BYE AT JETS \u2013<\/strong> Rex Ryan’s ego is being prepared as a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.<\/p>\n

CARDINALS AT SEAHAWKS \u2013<\/strong> Max Hall changes his first name to Min. Seahawks 23, Cardinals 9<\/p>\n

RAIDERS AT BRONCOS \u2013<\/strong> Jason Campbell is the Raiders quarterback, and Bill Belicheck owns the Raider’s first round pick. Broncos 30, Raiders 17<\/p>\n

PATRIOTS AT CHARGERS \u2013<\/strong> The Chargers are a desperate team with a great quarterback, and the Patriots are traveling across country. They’ll notice this week that they traveled without Randy Moss. Chargers 25, Patriots 21<\/p>\n

BYE AT TEXANS \u2013<\/strong> The Texans practice on a teeter totter.<\/p>\n

VIKINGS AT PACKERS \u2013<\/strong> Instead of cheeseheads, Packers fans wear hats that look like Little Brett. Packers 27 Vikings 17<\/p>\n

GIANTS AT COWBOYS \u2013<\/strong> The Yankees lost to the Rangers. I’ll stay with the trend. Cowboys 17, Giants 14<\/p>\n

The column is sponsored by a broken computer.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’d rather laugh with the sinners Than cry with the saints The sinners are much more fun – Billy Joel — When James Harrison and Brandon Meriweather suggested that I not make these Week 7 NFL picks because I have the mental capacity of a green pepper, I scoffed. Sure my head hurts from the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=420"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":424,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions\/424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}