mandate is unknown.<\/a><\/p>\nThe Department of Um has only had time to evaluate half of the games it is picking. Rest assured that those games were studied thoroughly and the predictions of those games are based on sound data. Those are the games to really bet on. Unfortunately, Department computers that stored which games have been studied have been irreparably damaged.<\/p>\n
There is this announcement. The Federal Department of Um is pleased to honor Albert Haynesworth as the best prepared NFL player of first half of the 2011 NFL season.<\/p>\n
Finally, the one thing that the the United States Department of Um wants to know is, um, whatzgonnahappen.<\/p>\n
RAIDERS AT CHARGERS \u2013<\/strong> Thursday games periodically help my accuracy. It’s peculiar, and hard to explain. Raiders 24, Chargers 17.<\/p>\nRAMS AT BROWNS \u2013<\/strong> The Browns are destined to dominate the Aquarian Age, which started on 11\/11\/11. Okay, how about the Browns, with 3 wins, are three times better than the 1-win Rams? How about the Browns are able to tackle Steven Jackson? Yeah, I didn’t think you’d buy that one. The best I’ve got is the Age of Aquarius. Browns 20, Rams 17<\/p>\nSTEELERS AT BENGALS \u2013<\/strong> I may have to remember to hate the Bengals instead of just ridiculing them. Can anyone help me with this? Bengals 26 Steelers 17<\/p>\nSAINTS AT FALCONS \u2013<\/strong> Darren Sproles will torch the Falcons but Julio Jones proves he was worthy of the number 6 pick in the draft. Falcons 27, Saints 24<\/p>\nTITANS AT PANTHERS \u2013<\/strong> An old quarterback on his last legs against a young quarterback who has potential to be the best in the NFL. Panthers 21, Titans 17<\/p>\nBILLS AT COWBOYS \u2013<\/strong> The Bills looked like their old selves last week but that was a blip, or I don’t know anything about finding a bandwagon. Bills 28, Cowboys 21<\/p>\nJAGUARS AT COLTS \u2013<\/strong> The Colts are not losing every game, even though they’d like to lose very game. Colts 24, Jaguars 20<\/p>\nBRONCOS AT CHIEFS \u2013<\/strong> What happens when one roller coaster races another roller coaster? This week, the one carrying the holy roller wins. Broncos 29, Chiefs 23<\/p>\nREDSKINS AT DOLPHINS \u2013<\/strong> Who wants Andrew Luck when Matt Moore is your roster? Dolphins 20, Redskins 13<\/p>\nCARDINALS AT EAGLES \u2013<\/strong> It’s better if the Eagles almost make the playoffs. So sure, they win this week. Eagles 29 Cardinals 10<\/p>\nTEXANS AT BUCCANEERS \u2013<\/strong> Ben Tate and Arian Foster will stop and offer ice cream to Albert Haynesworth on their way to the end zone. Texans 27, Buccaneers 20<\/p>\nRAVENS AT SEAHAWKS \u2013<\/strong> So now Joe Flacco is Joe Cool? Wrong. Snoopy is Joe Cool. Joe Flacco is an average NFL quarterback. Meanwhile, invited to lunch with the candidate, Ray Lewis was the third person Rick Perry meant to tell that the soup was poisoned. Ravens 24, Seahawks 17<\/p>\nLIONS AT BEARS \u2013<\/strong> I don’t trust either quarterback in this statement game. I do trust Detroit’s defense. Lions 20, Bears 12<\/p>\nGIANTS AT 49eRS \u2013<\/strong> I’ve seen lots of coaches try to write a story like the Alex Smith story \u2013 a bust saved by new coaching. Jim Harbaugh has actually pulled it off. Amazing. Plus, Frank Gore helps. 49ers 24, Giants 17<\/p>\nPATRIOTS AT JETS \u2013<\/strong> One one hand, Bill Belichick is the greatest coach of a generation. On the other hand, I am still bitter that he cut Bernie Kosar. On that same hand, he hasn’t won a Super Bowl without Tom Brady or Lawrence Taylor starting for him. For that reason alone, the Patriots deserve to lose their third in a row. Jets 28, Patriots 14<\/p>\nVIKINGS AT PACKERS \u2013<\/strong> Maybe Brett Favre will make a comeback for this one. Packers 41, Vikings 20<\/p>\nThis column is sponsored by Joe Paterno School of Ethics.<\/em><\/p>\n—<\/em><\/p>\nSee briantarcy.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now, entertain us – Nirvana The United States Department of Um, created by Texas Governor Rick Perry, would like to celebrate our 3-day anniversary by offering these Week 10 NFL picks and, um. This Department doesn’t care if Donovan McNabb fails any more than if Philip Rivers…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25],"tags":[8,30,29,7],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=634"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":638,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions\/638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/whatzgonnahappen.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}