‘Cause this thriller, thriller night And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike – Michael Jackson — If you throw that egg, I won’t give you my week 8 NFL predictions. I am here at home dressed as an NFL prognosticator while I try to decipher, from the look on your…

99 dreams I have had In every one a red balloon – Nena — Help me! I just launched a balloon and my Week 7 NFL predictions are in it! What do you mean you don’t believe me? I know American history. George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr. are great Americans but…

In this undiscovered moment, lift your head up above the crowd We could shake this world, if you would only show us how Your life is now – John Mellencamp — I humbly accept the Nobel Prize for Week 5 NFL Predictions. I deserve this. The committee, in its wisdom, recognized my tremendous accomplishment of…

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD: I predict week 4 in the NFL will be wiped off the map by one name – Brett Favre…… the twilight of Brett Favre’s career is an Iranian intelligence operation aimed at causing psychological damage in the heartland.

Let’s give them something to talk about A little mystery to figure out – Bonnie Raitt — Barack Obama: I’m worried fellas. In week 3 of the NFL, the New Orleans Saints are likely to use the bomb again. Benjamin Netanyahu: Yes, bombers who think they are saints worry me too. Obama: Those guys are…

It’s a holiday in Cambodia It’s tough, kid, but it’s life – The Dead Kennedys EDWARD KENNEDY: It’s me, dead Ted here to predict week 1 of the 2009 NFL season. Don’t be alarmed. I’m on a holiday. The Pope arranged for this. He couldn’t promise to get me into heaven but he said he’d…

Silence is the enemy, Against your urgency So rally up the demons of your soul – Green Day – These 2009 NFL predictions are my ANGRY GUY call to stop Obama’s evil plot to ruin America. I won’t let Obama ruin America this NFL season like he did last year when he let the Pittsburgh…