Lie to me And tell me everything is all right – Johnny Lang — These Week 3 NFL Picks declare that the Cleveland Browns, much like myself, were born in hell, period. I am not going to answer any questions about my previous 17 years spreading the rumor that the Cleveland Browns were an NFL…

I’m Mr. Bad Example, take a look at me I’ll live to be a hundred and go down in infamy – Warren Zevon — Cough! These Week 2 NFL Picks feel dizzy. Don’t tell the media or anyone. From now on, I will only communicate by email. Call me the email female. I’ve been called…

I shot the sheriff But I swear it was in self defense – Bob Marley == You are not getting week 1 NFL picks from Colin Kaepernick until the Cleveland Browns are treated better by the rest of the league. Look, I know you came here for NFL picks. I can hear the National Anthem…

He was taken to task by some critics who asked, Do you write the words or lyrics first? – Michael Stanley Band — These 2016 NFL Season Picks are paranoid and frightened of foreigners such as Pittsburgh Steelers fans. They dress funny and have weird beliefs. Maybe the Eighth Amendment people can do something about…

“Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention” – Frank Sinatra — These week 17 NFL picks, on the advice of a singing psychic composed entirely of vodka and makeup, will now take my final curtain. I am checking in from the Trump & Gun Bowling Lanes, where I always perform…

She wrote upon it Return to sender, address unknown No such address, no such zone – Elvis Presley — These week 16 NFL picks by the Returns Department see an awful lot of football fans out there in line trying to return their team’s season. A lot of Browns fans. Familiar faces. I see them…

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch – The Grinch Who Stole Christmas — These week 15 NFL Picks by Ebeneezer Scrooge, Cleveland Browns fan, have already seen three ghosts and a Donald Trump speech, but nothing scares me. I still hate Christmas. I believe Christmas is the only thing Donald Trump does not hate. But…

And you tell me Over and over and over again, my friend Ah, you don’t believe We’re on the eve of destruction – Barry McGuire — These Week 13 NFL Picks come to you from the Biblical end of time. War, flood, famine – Johnny Manziel on the bench. The Book of Namath; 3.16 says,…

You say you want a revolution Well, you know We all want to change the world – The Beatles — These Week 12 NFL picks by a turkey suggest that all turkeys are Cleveland Browns fans, just as all Browns fans are turkeys. Stick with me here, because this is about to get newsy. So,…