What do you get for pretending the danger’s not real
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
– Pink Floyd
These week 14 NFL picks are wearing the most outlandish tin foil hat I can find outside of a red one that says, “Make America Great Again.” Yes, it’s a Cleveland Browns hat.
That means that I believe the Browns are in the NFL.
So don’t tell me that my tin foil hat isn’t the best. I know where you eat pizza.
And now I’ve read the CIA report that the Pittsburgh Steelers have been interfering in the operations of Cleveland Browns. That must be why the Cleveland Browns have not won a game in a year. Outside meddling.
But just because this hat is made of tin foil doesn’t mean that I think Robert Griffin III is a franchise quarterback.
I am a realist.
For instance, under this in foil hat I’d like to believe the that the Electoral college is not going to elect Donald Trump as the last President of the United States of America. But I am a realist.
That’s why I believe the Cleveland Browns are going to win the Super Bowl. And I believe in Santa Claus.
But I don’t believe crazy crazy stuff like thinking that Donald Trump cares more about working people than Saturday Night Live.
I am a tin foil hat optimist. You want fake news? The Cleveland Browns are the best team in the NFL. Don’t research it. Just share.
If you do, just imagine whatzgonnahappen.
RAIDERS AT CHIEFS – Chiefs 21, Raiders 13
BRONCOS AT TITANS – Titans 22, Broncos 20
CHARGERS AT PANTHERS – Chargers 26, Panthers 21
TEXANS AT COLTS – Colts 30, Texans 14
BENGALS AT BROWNS – Browns 50, Bengals 48
STEELERS AT BILLS – Steelers 24, Bills 20
CARDINALS AT DOLPHINS – Dolphins 21, Cardinals 20
BEARS AT LIONS – Lions 41, Bears 20
VIKINGS AT JAGUARS – Vikings 17, Jaguars 16
SAINTS AT BUCCANEERS – Buccaneers 40, Buccaneers 38
REDSKINS AT EAGLES – Redskins 25, Eagles 20
JETS AT 49ers – Jets 10, 49ers 9
SEAHAWKS AT PACKERS – Packers 29, Seahawks 23
FALCONS AT RAMS – Falcons 33, Rams 13
COWBOYS AT GIANTS – Cowboys 30, Giants 17
RAVENS AT PATRIOTS – Patriots 27, Ravens 19
This column is sponsored by the Final Days of Civilization.