Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed boys that’d been away
Haven’t changed, had much to say
But man, I still think those cats are crazy
– Thin Lizzy
—
According to a new explosive book, the guy who writes these Wildcard Weekend NFL Picks is a clueless unstable fool who likes an NFL team just because they wear orange on their head.
This book, called, “The Coach Should Be Fired, The Fans Are Furious” claims the childish writer of this column is so prone to crazy whims that he will cheer for any shitty quarterback who happens to wear a Cleveland Browns uniform.
And get this. This book claims that this column will predict the Browns to win this weekend, even though the Browns are not in the NFL playoffs, and barely in the NFL.
Yes, the book is about life inside my little white house. The author is a jerk.
The author, I think, is also vengeful and sneaky. Duplicitous even. He got his way into my good graces, and then turned on me. But forget that. I deny I even know the author of this book. Never met him.
Because of this book, I am now paranoid that people will think that I like the Cleveland Browns, which I do. But there’s really no reason to tell anyone such a dark personal secret.
Still, I am proud as well as paranoid. This is because of President Donald J. Trump, America’s supreme leader and the only president ever with the same hair color as the burnt orange of the Cleveland Browns helmet. He is my hero, as he is yours because he is, in his own words, “a very stable genius.”
Because of President Trump, I do not believe the fake news that claims the Cleveland Browns went 0-16 this season. No one could believe such lies.
Because of this book, I am now paranoid that people will think that I like the Cleveland Browns, which I do. But there’s really no reason to tell anyone such a dark personal secret.
I believe that, just like Trump, the Cleveland Browns have been winning bigly. His one year in office, like the Browns past two years (1-31 record, according to the fake news) in the NFL, has been awesome. I, literally, am in awe.
But back to that explosive book. This column (yes, I am the author who was granted unprecedented access to the idiot’s life) has spent a year embedded inside this moron’s white house, and it is clear that everyone around him hates him.
Those people are just like you, his faithful reader(s), who read this (the only plausible reason) to increase your own sense of superiority. He has no clue, but I am on to you and them, and him.
“He roots for the Browns,” said one anonymous source, who looked just like the columnist’s lovely, long-suffering wife – except for the large nose, big glasses, and a thick black plastic mustache.
“He hasn’t seen a real NFL game in more than 20 years,” said the anonymous source. “He’s not qualified for this. The only thing he does anymore is say, ‘Bernie Kosar was better than this.’ He says it all day long.”
That’s not all I do. Sometimes I hit myself in the head with a hammer and say I can’t wait to see whatzgonnhappen.
TITANS AT CHIEFS – The last run of Alex Smith in Kansas City continues. Chiefs 23, Titans 21
FALCONS AT RAMS – Jared Goff is already better than Matt Ryan. Rams 34, Falcons 26
BILLS AT JAGUARS – Blake Bortles has more ability to lose a game than Tyrod Taylor. Bills 23, Jaguars 13
PANTHERS AT SAINTS – Drew Brees realizes he needs to brand himself like Tom Brady, AKA Tom Cruise. Saints 30, Panthers 23
BYE AT PATRIOTS – Bill Belichick hires the Kardashian family.
BYE AT EAGLES – Nick Foles looks everywhere for his lost lucky charm.
BYE AT STEELERS – Mike Tomlin teaches his weekly yoga class.
BYE AT VIKINGS – Case Keenum takes it one day at a time.
BROWNS IN HELL – Nothing to see here. Everything is fine. There’s even going to be a parade!
—
Pingback: Quelle est la plus jeune grand-mere du monde acheter medicament a l etranger sans ordonnance
Pingback: Quels sont les trois criteres qui caracterise la famille pharmacie belgique en ligne livraison internationale
Pingback: madridbet
Pingback: mirapex er coupon
Pingback: buy letrozole 2.5 mg pills
Pingback: How do you make him do everything for you?
Pingback: Is it normal to wake up erect everyday?
Pingback: ivermectin over the counter What should you not mix with amoxicillin?
Pingback: What do men think when you dont text back?
Pingback: How quickly do men fall in love?
Pingback: Can impotence be cured?
Pingback: vsovezdeisrazu
Pingback: What keeps a man in a relationship?
Pingback: Will antibiotics increase body weight order stromectol over the counter
Pingback: madridbet
Pingback: Does ginger shrink prostate how to get avodart
Pingback: ou trouver du viagra rapidement - Quel boisson pour bander fort?
Pingback: Can salt water kills bacteria azithromycin cost
Pingback: Can I stop antibiotics after 3 days
Pingback: How do you repair your liver after antibiotics
Pingback: 2023
Pingback: Can I stop antibiotics after 3 days
Pingback: Do antibiotics weaken your immune system
Pingback: Do antibiotics weaken you
Pingback: Is 5 days of antibiotics enough
Pingback: meritking
Pingback: What kills infection naturally
Pingback: madridbet
Pingback: Does antibiotics hurt your liver
Pingback: What time of day is blood pressure highest stromectol 6mg
Pingback: what is levitra used for
Pingback: Which foods feed viruses
Pingback: vardenafil tablets
Pingback: viagra 100 mg directions
Pingback: Can an infection come back after antibiotics
Pingback: Äèçàéí ÷åëîâåêà
Pingback: porn
Pingback: Are antibiotics successful
Pingback: ipsychologos
Pingback: Is garlic an antibiotic
Pingback: Is lemon a natural antibiotic
Pingback: Is antibiotic damage permanent
Pingback: yug-grib.ru
Pingback: studio-tatuage.ru
Pingback: When should you avoid antibiotics
Pingback: srhythm noise cancelling headphones | Treblab
Pingback: Do antibiotics damage body cells
Pingback: bit.ly/pamfir-pamfir-2023-ua-pamfir
Pingback: scaly leg mite treatment ivermectin Is antibacterial spray harmful?
Pingback: bookshelf speaker