You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you’re the only bait in town – Jimmy Buffett — Roger Goodell here with your Week 3 NFL picks, starting with Thursday’s game when the Falcons beat up the Buccaneers by an ambiguous score of 56 to 14. I am not quite sure what…
Isis oh Isis you mystical child What drives me to you is what drives me insane – Bob Dylan — These week 2 NFL picks are worried about members of ISIS playing in the NFL. Most likely, they are running backs. And there is good chance they play for the Baltimore Ravens. As President Obama…
So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell Blue skies from pain Can you tell a green field From a cold steel rail? – Pink Floyd — These week 1 NFL picks have been suspended for the 16-game season by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. In my hearing, he said, “You should have beat up…
He was taken to task by some critics who asked, Do you write the words or lyrics first? – The Michael Stanley Band — These 2014 NFL Season Picks are in denial about the 2013 NFL standings, which I burned in dirty coal that had been soaked in radioactive oil just to prove that I…
Inside the museums, Infinity goes up on trial – Bob Dylan — I did not want to climb up this damn mountain for your Super Bowl XLVIII pick. I am guru-phobic. Plus I am scared of heights, which is why I choose not to participate in the Olympics. I had just taken a sip of…
The highway’s jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive Everybody’s out on the run tonight but there’s no place left to hide – Bruce Springsteen — Quit calling me a bully or I will beat you up. Look, these NFL Conference Championship Picks by my Traffic Czar, Richie Incognito, are my gift…
Ice ice baby Vanilla ice ice baby – Vanilla Ice — This is my favorite polar vortex NFL weekend of the year, even though these divisional NFL playoff picks have been unemployed since 1967, when I planned my very first Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Parade. As the official Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Parade Planner, I…
But he can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke The same cigarettes as me – Rolling Stone — Hey, Peyton Manning here with a Snapchat of your Wildcard Weekend NFL picks, brought to you by “Elway”, the official marijuana of the Denver Broncos. While I don’t smoke marijuana myself, several of my teammates do…
I’ve been down on the bottom of a whirlpool of lies I ain’t lookin’ for nothin’ In anyone’s eyes – Bob Dylan — These week 17 NFL Picks would like you to duck back to an ignorant age when everyone knew their place. Back then, the Cleveland Browns place was first. That’s right, a long…
They said there’ll be snow at Christmas They said there’ll be peace on Earth But instead it just kept on raining A veil of tears for the virgin birth – Emerson, Lake & Palmer — Dear Santa, you cookie-stealing hippie. These week 16 NFL picks are my wish list, along with peace on Earth, and…