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What's Gonna Happen – Page 8 – A political humor column masquerading as NFL Picks

Got a dream to take them there They’re coming to America Got a dream they’ve come to share They’re coming to America – Neil Diamond — These week 12 NFL Picks have come to America with a dream to see the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl. Thankfully, the Prognosticator of the United States of…

Whoever we are Wherever we’re from We shoulda noticed by now Our behavior is dumb – Frank Zappa — These week 11 Picks are one chromosome short of the surface of a comet, where our German telescope can see the future of the NFL. You believe this because you are American and you don’t know…

I went back to Ohio But my city was gone – The Pretenders — These Week 10 NFL Picks come from Hillary Clinton’s new condo in the battleground state of Ohio, where Cleveland versus Cincinnati shall define the future of the world for the next several years. Ohio, of course, is THE bellwether state –…

They told him, Don’t ever come around here Don’t want to see your face, you better disappear – Michael Jackson — These Week 9 NFL Picks vote for the Peyton Manning versus Tom Brady rivalry for an Oscar, a Tony, a Grammy, an Emmy, and because we are Browns fans, a Bernie. We’d vote for…

They don’t give a damn about any trumpet playing band It ain’t what they call rock and roll – Dire Straits — These Week 8 NFL Picks admit from Canada that no one here knew President Obama created the security breach that allowed the Jacksonville Jaguars to beat the Cleveland Browns last week. We are…

Tell me a story About how you adore me – The Rolling Stone — These Week 7 NFL Picks are coming from inside the protective suit of my warped perspective, as my favorite football team is about to play its next three games against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Oakland Raiders, and Tampa Bay Buccaneers – combined…

Is it murder, is it rape, is it the Watergate tapes Or a mere hallucination caused by folks from outer space No, it’s a skinny little boy from Cleveland, Ohio Come to chase your women and drink your beer – Alex Bevan — These Week 6 NFL Picks have been quarantined in Cleveland with Yee-Hoyer…

But I see your true colors Shining through – Cyndi Lauper — The Secret Service will not let just anyone read these Week 5 NFL Picks. Well, maybe you over there wearing purple, holding a knife. Can we call you Ray? We totally believe when you say that there are some things you can cover…

Paranoia strikes deep Into your world it will creep – Buffalo Springfield — These week 4 NFL picks are on high terror alert because of an ideology that scares the crap out of me. Every week, well except this week, there is an NFL team that wants to beat the Cleveland Browns. You can’t even…