Somewhere, somehow, somebody Must have kicked you around some Tell me why you want to lay there And revel in your abandon – Tom Petty — These week 11 NFL Picks, after consulting with governors of the 31 other teams, have decided not to accept Cleveland Browns fans as refugees. Yes, we have seen the…
We don’t need no education We don’t need no thought control – Pink Floyd — These Week 10 NFL Picks from the campus of Cleveland Browns University demand that everyone step down who runs this sorry excuse for a college. I have been here for decades, and I have not learned anything. This offends me….
Imagine there’s no countries It isn’t hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too – John Lennon — These Week 9 NFL Picks are bought to you by Peace On Earth, which, just like the Cleveland Browns defense, does not exist. But since I am Peace on Earth, I have…
So, don’t ask me no questions And I won’t tell you no lies – Lynyrd Skynyrd — These week 8 NFL picks think your question about what games I plan to pick in week 8 is remarkably unfair. It is a gotcha question, from the biased media. Look, I want to give you my week…
Can’t you see, whoa, can’t you see What that woman, Lord, she been doin’ to me – The Marshall Tucker Band — Madame Secretary, these week 7 NFL picks would like to know where were you when the Cleveland Browns were getting slaughtered every week? This committee has one goal. We want you to know…
Well what can a poor boy do Except to sing for a rock ‘n’ roll band ‘Cause in a sleepy London town There’s just no room for a street-fighting man – The Rolling Stones — These Week 6 NFL Picks by Bernie Sanders are sick of hearing about the damn Patriots’ deflated balls and inflated…
Hush hush Keep it down now Voices carry – Til Tuesday — These Week 5 NFL picks would have gotten to speak in this house earlier, but my Volkswagen diesel needed gas. Then I ate some beans and I had gas. I am a gasbag, for sure. That’s how I became the speaker of this…
I’m back in the USSR You don’t know how lucky you are, boys Back in the USSR – The Beatles — These Week 4 NFL Picks, by Vladimir Putin, will take my shirt off and invade somewhere unless the Cleveland Browns are declared Super Bowl champions. Okay, fine. I’m going to take my shirt off…
What if God was one of us Just a slob like one of us – Joan Osborne — These week 3 NFL Picks by Pope Francis, with pity for the least among us, would like you to pray for the Cleveland Browns. I call for worldwide reforms on how the Cleveland Browns are treated. I…
I’m goin’ surfin’ cause I don’t like your face I’m bailing out because I hate the race Of rats that run around and ’round in the maze – Weezer — These Week 2 NFL Picks by Donald Trump don’t like your face. I like Tom Brady’s face. Tom Brady endorsed me. Tom is the most…