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What's Gonna Happen – Page 2 – A political humor column masquerading as NFL Picks

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheep Dirty deeds and they’re done dirt cheap – AC/DC — These Week 11 NFL Picks have learned that the new tax bill means the New England Patriots can write off Tom Brady but the Cleveland Browns must pay full taxes for DeShone Kizer. This tax bill also means I can…

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain Too much love drives a man insane You broke my will, but what a thrill Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire – Jerry Lee Lewis — These Week 10 NFL picks have just received a copy of an astonishing apology issued by the Cleveland Browns to…

Well you’re where you should be all the time And when you’re not you’re with Some underworld spy, or the wife of a close friend – Carly Simon — The recent indictment of the Cleveland Browns season is fake news to these Week 9 NFL picks. The Browns don’t lose every week. They won’t lose…

I shouted out, Who killed the Kennedys? When after all It was you and me – Rolling Stones — After more than five decades, secret files have been released showing I acted alone making these Week 8 NFL picks. Or did I? Ever since the early 1960s, conspiracy theories have floated as to what exactly…

I can tell by your coat, my friend you’re from the other side There’s just one thing I got to know Can you tell me please, who won? – Crosby, Stills and Nash — These week 7 NFL Picks would like to express some awesome condolences to Cleveland Browns fans for all the losing. If…

Doctor, doctor, give me the news I’ve got a bad case of loving you – Robert Palmer — These Week 6 NFL Picks suffer from a pre-existing condition called, Rooting For The Cleveland Browns. There is no cure. Pharmaceutical companies have invested millions of dollars looking, but to no avail. So when the President of…

Every day your memory grows dimmer It doesn’t haunt me like it did before I’ve been walking through the mirror to nowhere Tryin’ to get to heaven before they close the door – Bob Dylan — These week 5 NFL Picks, having done no research, would like to thank you for your thoughts and prayers…

Some folks are born, made to wave the flag, Oooh, they’re red white and blue And when the band plays “Hail To The Chief” Ooo, they point the cannon at you, Lord – Creedence Clearwater Revival — Before you read these Week 4 NFL Picks, please stand for our national anthem. Here comes the second…

Take this job and shove it I ain’t working here no more – Johnny Paycheck — These week 2 NFL picks have been curated by White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who then declared them to be a fireable offense. I think she said this because last Friday I predicted that the Patriots would…